Jars, Branches, and the Powerful Work of God

I'm not sure how to start this post, except with a truth about myself I don't like touting: my insecurity. Frequent spurts of insecurity of who and how I am and persistent feelings of loneliness, discouragement, and even failure. 

A few examples include thoughts such as: these people don't want me around; people think I'm always serious and don't know how to have fun; godly/eligible guys don't want to consider me for dating/marriage because I'm too old, boring, unattractive, or awkward; or my high school girls don't like me because I'm not "cool."

When these shamefully self-focused thoughts pass through my mind, I am (by God's grace alone!) decent about turning it over to Christ and praying for grace to stop focusing on myself so much and just push through the insecurity to focus on loving and serving others. But, the thoughts are always a step away, waiting to jump in as soon as I let my guard down (which is way too often).

After one such occasion of feeling down, I called my mom on the phone and expressed my frustration and discouragement. She followed up our call with a text the next morning: 

Regarding your feelings last night. Like I said, they are very human and common to man and not sin in themselves (as far as I know), but rather a backdrop for growth and glorifying God. I thought of an analogy: When I am concerned about my own 'glory' or 'shame ' - i.e. what others think of me, it is like a little worm (me, all of us 'worms') who is on top of [a mountain] in a morning with a glorious sunrise surrounded by lovely wild flowers and towering firs and a most glorious view, yet the poor worm is looking down at the dirt, worrying about what the other worms think of his dirty bow tie when he has the ability to show them the beauty around them. How incredible, that we are able, in Christ, to help others to see the glory of God!

She followed it up with a few verses, one of which is 2 Corinthians 4:5-7, which says "For what we proclaim is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, with ourselves as your servants for Jesus' sake. For God, who said, 'Let light shine out of darkness,' has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ. But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us."

In the time since my wise mother's exhortation, God has been blowing me away with a better understanding of what it means to be a jar of clay. Or, as in John 15, a branch. He didn't make a mistake when he created me, and I don't need to change who I am to be more effective in ministry and relationships. While I still feel like a mess half the time, I've been seeing Christ glorified through my feeble attempts to think of myself less and love and serve others more within the capacity He's given me.

When we're acting within the role God has created for us -- whatever that may be --  the focus shifts from the clay jar to what's inside; to the tree instead of the branch. To the Source of life instead of a flawed person who is sometimes "nice" or "fun."

So, while my little clay jar named "Sonia" isn't as cool, put together, or liked as my "self" would hope, God is bringing to completion the good work he began in me and is encouraging me by the reminder and rebuke that it's not about me and that surpassing power ultimately belongs to HIM.

Hold fast to Jesus!

Sonia

Reflections on 2020 from a General Standpoint: Brokenness Uncovered and Hope Revealed

 I'm fairly certain that most individuals in this world would agree that the year 2020 was a bit unprecedented. From a world standpoint, the COVID-19 pandemic swept through nations, causing immeasurable havoc. From a national standpoint, coupled with the pandemic was unreal political and social unrest and violence.

A three-part lesson 2020 really brought home is how broken and fallen the world and mankind is, how powerful the spiritual forces are, and how tremendous a Christian's hope can be.

It hurts my heart to see loved ones afflicted with the impacts of sickness, our government creating laws pertaining to social interactions that a year ago would have been unimaginable, friends and families being separated, people I grew up with becoming extreme political activists in support of groups and movements in opposition to God, and even small businesses being shut down. Today, while America still touts the 1st Amendment, free speech is already starting to become less free -- if one's political or religious opinion is different than that of the general public (or the loud few?), he or she is often ridiculed, judged, and even at times faced with physical violence. Even among relatives and friends, certain (previously "safe") subjects should not be broached.

Broken. We've always been broken, and 2020 helped me to see more clearly the extent of this brokenness. While my thoughts easily become anxious about the state of the world and I keep wishing for "how things used to be," I am praying for the strength and discipline to continually give thanks and look to Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of my faith. For strength to genuinely give thanks that this world is temporal and its beauty and gifts are passing away. Some of the evil going on in the world and the anxiety threatening to grab hold of my heart point to just how real sin is. At the same time, the truths of God's Word, love of His people, and comfort from His Spirit point to how real our God is.

The incredible truth for those of us who follow Jesus is that while the world is -- and has been! -- broken, this is NOT OUR HOME. It has never been our home. Our earthly standing is not our identity. Our identity starts on the spiritual level and works out. Oh, for grace to more fully grasp and rejoice in this truth! 

So, while 2020 has been a bit of a mess, and it was probably only the beginning (although we could still have a revival!), I would not say it was a "bad" year. No, while my shortcomings are depressing at times, 2020 helped me to see and hope more in Jesus, better appreciate His people and fellowship, and cherish corporate worship. 

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. 19For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God. 20For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope 21that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. 22For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. 23And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. 24For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? 25But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.

26Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. 27And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. 28And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. 29For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. 30And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified.

31What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? 33Who shall bring any charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. 34Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. 35Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? 36As it is written,

“For your sake we are being killed all the day long;
we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.”

37No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, 39nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 8:18-39 (English Standard, italics mine).

Hold fast to Jesus, Christian!

Sonia

Of Trifles and Pumpkin Pie (dairy- and gluten-free, too)

Happy Saturday! I typically use Saturdays as my "productive" day and get up early, spend part of the morning in devotions/journaling/blogging, and then exercise, run errands and clean, etc. the rest of the day. However, over the past week my post-car accident back pain (from almost a year ago now...sigh) has really been acting up and, after getting a massage for the pain Thursday and now also feeling gross from that, my body finally decided it needed to be a slug all day. So, today I slept in until 8 (gasp) and have been loafing around. It's after noon now, and I decided to use this opportunity of being slightly laid up to share about a few culinary adventures. Without further ado...

I've been gluten-free for about a year (not strictly, but mostly) and lactose-free for about 10 years (avoiding both for health reasons and not just for fun), and have had fun creating various allergen-friendly desserts ("normal" foods are pretty easy if you're a home cook).  

First, a gluten- and peanut butter and chocolate trifle and a peppermint and chocolate trifle (two separate flavors; not mixed!):

The process: These entailed buying allergen-friendly cake mixes, natural pudding mix, dairy free whipped topping, and finding dairy-free candy bars (I used dark chocolate peanut butter cups and mint snacking chocolate). I basically just layered the cake (cut into chunks), pudding, chopped candy bars, and whipped topping. 

The only significant difference these two trifles have from "normal" trifles is the price, which is "no trifling matter" (sorry); it wasn't cheap but it tasted amazing, even to those who are used to "normal" desserts. I made this for a family birthday party, so the price was justified. :)

Second are these delicious (and healthy) mini pumpkin pies! I was so excited about these because it was my first time making a pumpkin something without using canned pumpkin and starting straight at the source: a pumpkin patch! 

They honestly tasted better than "normal" pumpkin pie and were pretty easy to make.

Final product

The process: You can find the actual recipe here, so I won't give measurements (plus, if you're anything like me, you use a recipe as a loose guide and eyeball it!).

Picking out a pumpkin (not posed or staged; a happy coinkydink of a picture).

The pumpkin, rinsed and ready to be cut into four pieces and de-seeded.

Deseeded pumpkins, ready to be cooked at about 350 for just under an hour (keep the seeds if you want to make roasted pumpkin seeds, which are super good for you and delicious!).

Detour: to make roasted seeds, rinse the slimy stuff off the seeds and toss them with a little oil, salt, pepper, garlic, and cumin (or whatever sounds good -- this was my first time making them so I have yet to explore other flavors). Then, put them in a single layer on a lightly-greased cookie sheet and bake for about 15-20 minutes, stirring about halfway through.

Cooked pumpkin

For the "crust," blend (I wish I had a food processor) pecans and coconut flakes in blender until it's almost "sandy." Then, add maple syrup, coconut oil, and a dash of salt and blend again until mixed (you may have to stir by hand if you don't have a food processor). 

Divide the "crust" mixture into your muffin tin or cups (I love silicon muffin cups!), pressing it down so it holds together. Then, blend (or mix) your pumpkin, spices, maple syrup, eggs, coconut milk cream, and salt. Divide this into the muffin cups as well.

Bake at 350 for about 25-30 minutes, and let cool completely before removing from muffin cups (even better to refrigerate over night after removing from the cups so they set even more!).

Detour: here are the toasted pumpkin seeds!

Enjoy with a cup of coffee or tea and with or without whip!

Being gluten- and dairy-free doesn't have to mean you can't enjoy the simple pleasures of pumpkin pie on a fall day or an amazing trifle at a family party. It just means it *sometimes* takes a little more ingenuity (and maybe cost).  

Your Christianity: Sola Scriptura or Sola Self?

It's fairly ironic that this post is coming on Reformation Day, as I've been marinating on the foregoing subject for several months. The subject of the Christian faith, our beliefs, and reality.

We watched the American Gospel: Christ Crucified with our group a while back, and something that stuck out to me is that many worldviews, including postmodernism, deconstructionism, and the various "progressive Christianity" tracks, share a common foundation: The inability to accept or embrace all facets of Biblical Christianity because they don't fit how the the world or God "should be." They may ask questions such as: "a loving God couldn't also send people to hell, could He?" or "A loving and all-powerful God wouldn't kill his Son to pay the penalty for the world's sin (cosmic child abuse, some say), would He? Couldn't He just accept us without any bloodshed? He is God, after all." These concepts (of hell, Christ's death for our justification, etc.) are not all pretty or easy to grasp, and worldviews such as postmodernism (which says truth is subjective) and deconstructionism (which says the Bible is fallible), change God and Christianity to fit into a more comfortable box. 

While considering the above (which is a small picture of both the movie and my thought process; putting thoughts into words is hard sometimes), however, my heart was also nudged on a more personal level. How many " givens" do I have about Christianity, Jesus, my faith, and the Gospel that are not actually "givens" in the Bible? Is my idea of Jesus actually in accord with how He is portrayed in the gospels or the rest of Scripture? Over the last few years, I've been challenged to really examine ideas I've taken for granted as fact. Aside from ideas about the character and person of God, ideas that may veer toward both legalism/works and Christian liberty/faith. Examples might include simple statements ranging anywhere from "Tattoos are sinful" to "It's okay to read lots of romance novels as long as they aren't dirty," or presuppositions that certain denominations, forms of worship, or churches are automatically "wrong" and not Biblically "Christian." (Note that many answers to such ideas are actually based more on the heart and conscience than external "right" and "wrong")

In short, while those who do not claim to be Biblical Christians have, in part at least, done so because they cannot accept accountability for their sins or the reality of God's justice, election, and human responsibility (and thus created their own version of "religion" or lack thereof), I would suggest that many Biblical Christians today have also put God into a box and made presuppositions about who God is and how we are to live.

During the Reformation, the Roman Catholic church banned the ownership of Bibles in common language. Many Christians were killed for even owning a Bible and yet were willing to pay that price. Today, we have the Scriptures at our fingertips and so often fail to appreciate the incredible gift we have. We may, like the Bereans in Acts chapter 17, search the Scriptures to see if what we hear -- and even have believed -- is true. There is so much to be learned about Christ and His Word! I know I am rebuked by this. 

"For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart." Hebrews 4:12 (English Standard).

All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work." 2 Timothy 3:16-17 (English Standard).

Reality says that God's Word is true (2 Timothy 3:16-17). Reality says we are accountable to God for our sins and that we have all sinned (Romans 6:23). Reality says God is just (Deuteronomy 32:4) and merciful (Psalm 103:8). Reality says that Jesus was killed for our sins (John 3:16). Reality says that all who call upon His Name will be saved (Romans 10:13). Reality says we can't fully comprehend God (Isaiah 55:8-9). And reality says He will give us mercy for each day (see, e.g. Lamentations 3:23).

Is my standard truly based on Scripture or have I, as the postmodernists have done, "changed" certain aspects of God and Scripture interpretation to fit my understanding? Scripture is a real standard, and while I believe the realities of the Gospel and Jesus as God, have I allowed discrepancies with Scripture to creep into the every day? 

Hold fast to Jesus!

Sonia

Freed to be a Slave!

 My small group is currently going through the book of Galatians, and it has been a pretty tremendous blessing to me, especially as someone who spent several years in a slightly legalistic church. We discussed the first half of chapter 5 this week, and the simplicity of the marvelous conundrum of us being freed from the bondage of sin so that we are free to become servants (literally slaves) to others (and ultimately Christ) has been so beautiful and inspiring to me. The entire section is incredible, especially the emphasis on the danger of relying on works of the law (works-based salvation) versus resting in God's saving grace by the Holy Spirit (see Galatians 5:1-6), but what I want to focus a bit more on is the following:

"For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.'" Galatians 5:13-14 (English Standard).

As born-again believers by the saving grace of Jesus and His transforming Spirit in our hearts, we are no longer in bondage under sin! There is no condemnation for us (see, e.g. Romans 8)! This isn't to say we are now perfect people; on the contrary, we still fall into patterns of sin (self focus; pride; anger; laziness; you name it, really). We are no longer bound or defined by these failings, though! They have no grip on us! The funny thing about this new freedom is that the Holy Spirit has not only freed us from the bondage of sin, but has actually filled us with a new heart, a heart that desires to use its freedom to be a slave to Christ and His people! 

Personally, I can be quite self-centered as opposed to Christ- or other-centered, but reading these words and being reminded that I am actually not bound to myself has been a liberating reminder! I pray for the grace to use my freedom to truly put off my reoccurring sins which cling so tightly (see, e.g. Hebrews 12:1-2), rest in Christ's grace, be filled with the Spirit, and love and serve others!

Sisters on the beach earlier this month 

Hold fast to Jesus!

Sonia

Treasuring the Auntie Life

Being an auntie is seriously one of life's biggest earthly blessings. Living with two of my two nephews and four nieces and watching them grow up multiplies this blessing by about eight. <3 Kiddos grow up so quickly (and I'm not even a mom, and can't imagine how much quicker they grow then!), and I don't want to ever, ever look back and regret not giving them hugs and saying "I love you" at every opportunity. There isn't much to this post except an encouragement to treasure every day. And to share a few pictures from a quick, unplanned photo "session" my sister did of Ems and I when Ems was feeling snuggly and looking especially darling.

Scattered Thoughts About Psalm 139 and the Incredible God we Serve

Over the past few weeks, I've been mediating on Psalm 139:16, which says "Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them." (English Standard). 

Psalm 139 is one of the most well-known passages in the Bible, but verse 16 has really been hitting home lately -- he has FORMED every. single. one. of our days. Taken with the rest of the chapter (which discusses God's complete knowledge of our hearts and lives, his constant presence, and His protection of His children), this is bit scary and a lot encouraging. Jesus didn't just foreknow our lives (see what would happen); he literally formed every day -- He has created us for good works! See Ephesians 2:10. We have the "freedom" to follow Christ or not (free will); yet at the same time Christ has formed our days knowing exactly how we will respond. We are bound by His plan yet free to choose whom we will serve. A little bit mind-boggling. 

While my simple mind can't truly grasp these incredible (apparent) semi-contradictions, my responses are actually found in verses 6 and 23-24. First, incredible wonder: "Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot attain it." In other words, "wow. I can't even." Second, a desire to freely be able to proclaim to the God of the universe "Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." 

I may not understand this conundrum of being free yet bound (maybe a more learned theologian can), but am praying for grace to live a life of wisdom and devotion to Christ (see, e.g., Ephesians 5:15) that is centered on loving Him first and others second, while also resting in His promise that He has formed every day and will use me, despite my failures, to further His glory and also bring me safely to Himself (see, e.g., Romans 8:28).