He Must Increase, but I Must Decrease

"He must increase, but I must decrease." (John 3:30, NASB)

That passage has been on my mind a lot as of late. It is so convicting and so, so true. 

Over the past few months, I have had a lot of positive feedback about my performance, work ethic, and attitude from the my boss, the staff, and the attorneys at work (for anyone who does not know, I work at a law firm). 

When I hear this, I feel so flattered, but also fearful and convicted. Flattered that they see these positive attributes and characteristics in me. Fearful that I will not live up to their expectations. Convicted because I am tempted, and the world encourages me, to think it's my own ability and skills that have brought about these results. The truth is, it is only from Christ.  

I've been struggling with questions such as, "How do I make them know it's HIM and not me? How do I continue to perform well and yet not exalt myself? Why is HE showing me so much grace? Why don't people respond when I share the gospel with them? How can I make them believe?"

These questions all have one simple answer: Christ. He reveals Himself to whom He reveals Himself; He is glorified through things in which we do not think are glorifying; He shows grace to those who don't deserve it; He plants seeds we may never see grow into plants; He gives faith and understanding of His saving grace to those who call upon His Name. 

2 Timothy 2:11-13 is a truly wondrous passage:

"It is a trustworthy statement:

            For if we died with Him, we will also live with Him;

      12If we endure, we will also reign with Him;
            If we deny Him, He also will deny us;

      13If we are faithless, He remains faithful, for He cannot deny Himself." (NASB, italics mine)

Philippians 4:4-9:

" 4Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice! 5Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near.6Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

      8Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. 9The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you." (NASB)

Oh, for grace to trust Him more!

Hold fast to Jesus!

Sonia

Fantastic Sibling Moments Post #10: "Bored, Board Certified"

Yesterday after church we had (blissfully) quiet afternoon, and Mini-man (10) was not quite able to appreciate it...

Mini-man: "I'm bored."
Me: "..."
Mini-man: "...I'm a board certified surgeon."
Me: "ohkk..in what area of medicine?"
Mini-man, after thinking for a moment: "Tuberculosis." 

This conversation was odd on so many fronts. But I love my Mini-man.

My Latest Casual Friday Morning Preperations...Or Failure Thereof.

Friday morning I woke up, exhausted. There is no way it's time to get up yet, I said to myself. Groping for my phone, I saw that it was not time to get up; it was five minutes past my second alarm. Shocked and confused, I stared at my phone. That can't be right! I then proceeded to stare at my phone and cross-reference the time to ensure I wasn't going crazy. Yes. I was indeed running late this morning. 

As I unwillingly slid out from under my mountain of warm, fuzzy blankets and fluffy pillows, I could not believe how un-rested I felt. I proceeded to spend the next twenty minutes getting dressed, doing my hair and makeup, and figuring out what jewelry to wear since my boots had gold on them and I couldn't find my gold necklace. Finally, I decided on pearls. Not perfect, but passable with my blouse, cardigan, and brown and gold boots.

Boy, did I look pale and drawn this morning. Glancing at the clock, I was dismayed to see that I was behind schedule. Oh well, I need to be at work before 7:30, so I guess I'll just grab a quick yogurt, heat up my coffee, and bolt out the door. Sighing heavily, I trudged out of my room, pausing by the bathroom to check my appearance in a different light (literally). Still horribly pale. Still unbelievably tired.

As I began to climb the stairs to grab a yogurt, I noted how dark and quiet the house was. Unusually dark. Not unusually quiet. Suddenly, something inside of me snapped.

I gasped, Poop! I'm not supposed to leave for work at 12:50 a.m.! I'm supposed to leave at 6:50 a.m.!

Needless to say, although I got about five more hours of "sleep" this morning, I was very, very tired at work. 

Tired as I was, I had enough foresight to take a selfie of my tired self at 12:45 a.m. to document the moment. 

2016 Edition of "Warning: Contains Images of the Hunted Looking...Hunted"

As the title suggests, this post is about our annual family hunting trip. In my opinion, this year was not the best year for hunting; however, that could just be because I didn't get one this year. We were still blessed with three deer this year and also had a fabulous week of quality family time in God's creation.

 Beautiful sunsets.

 One of my favorite aspects of hunting season is being able to spend so much time in God's glorious creation.

 See Pollywog? She's pretty boss with camo, even when she isn't trying to be very sneaky...

 Early morning fog: so cold and wet but so cool

 We are so camo with the plants in our hair that I bet you can't even see us in this picture. 

 Sunrise on top of the world

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 No, I don't necessarily advise wearing bright blue converse archery hunting (unless, of course, your other shoes are soaking wet and it's all you have); see the elk track though? I have big feet for a girl, and that is a big track...Unfortunately, I never saw the elk to whom this track belongs.

 Selfie while waiting for the others to get in place for our hunt.

Sometimes I wish deer would get the point of why we even go hunting...

 Sweet Pea and I put citronella bands on our persons to avoid being eaten alive by no-see-ems -- We tried to be cool about it, but may have (possibly) just ended up looking slightly goofy.

 Pollywog and her two-point buck! So proud of her!

 Mozzarella and her huge doe! 

 Washing their hands in this puddle after field-dressing Mozzarella's deer...Sometimes we're odd.

Beautiful, sweet, and yet savage hunters (hunteresses?)

Clari also got a nice doe, but it was pretty wet so I didn't get a picture on my phone...

In short, even though I didn't personally get a deer this year, it was a truly blessed year. We had a wonderful time spending time in nature with one another, chasing deer, trying not to get eaten alive by no-see-ems (gnat things), and not getting any sleep. God is good.

Wow, this took much longer than I anticipated to post, mostly due to uploading a gazillion pictures. I shan't have time to go back and proof-read. Forgive me, Grammar Nazi's, for I have (possibly) sinned.

Now, I must flee like a fly and prepare for another crazy work and school week.

Hold fast to Jesus!

Sonia

Fantastic Sibling Moments Post #9: "Honey Pumpkin"

On family vacation last weekend, several of us siblings were crammed into a couch while watching Pacific Rim. For those of you who haven't seen it, there's a scene where a character dies and it's sad. Very concise, I know. All the spoilers in the world.

Anyway, I was feeling kind of dramatic and didn't want the person to die. Conveniently, Gubby (12) happened to be sitting quite close. Taking advantage of the situation, I dramatically sighed, "Hold me, Gubby!" 

Gubby, always the hero, said in a deep, manly voice, "It's okay, Honey Pumpkin." He then proceeded to put his arms around me until the character was thoroughly dead. What a guy.

Watching Pacific Rim on the very comfy couch in the very quaint cabin. After the certain character became a long-gone decedent, we ladies were able to breathe again. Gubby and Mini-Man (10) were still fairly engrossed in the action of the movie.

A Sort of "Catch-up" Post

The past few months have been packed with changes, challenges, and growth. I figured I would just post a few pictures with subtitles to give you a small flavor of some of the things that have been keeping me busy.

 

The middle of June found one of my dearest friends and I graduating from the local community college, she as an RN, and me with a slightly lame Administrative Assistant degree.

(just pretend this is a picture with me sitting at the front desk in a classy lobby)

Shortly following graduation, I started working full-time at the law-firm as a receptionist/administrative assistant in addition to my estate planning department duties--the last few weeks have been packed with challenges and growth in my new position! I've really enjoyed being at the front desk as the face of the company and performing other administrative duties. The Lord is faithful!

Clari got engaged to the man of her dreams, Mr. Finally! Forgive the name, it's a long story...In truth, he his seriously awesome and their relationship is such a blessing to see! He loves the Lord and my sister, in addition to being able to put up with his soon-to-be sisters-in-law. :)

This picture is a bit old, but the Chunk has continued to melt our hearts with his adorable face and personality. Lord-willing, he will be having corrective heart surgery within the next few months. His condition, tetralogy of fallot, is a progessive condition and his oxygen levels will continue to go down until he has surgery...Prayers for his healing are much appreciated.

This picture is not the best quality, but this is Strong Ox (his daddy, my brother) and the Chunk just a few weeks ago...So precious. 

 The Squish is as adorable and hilarious as ever. In this picture, she and I had been picking blueberries and neither of us could figure out how the berries in the bowl in her care kept mysteriously disappearing...

 Mini-man (10) helping me carry my bags in -- so macho. 

 And, of course, what's summer without some quality time with dearest friends? This is us the day of our graduation, all dressed up!

This lovely lady came all the way from Nevada to visit for a few days! We had a grand evening catching up, eating fro-yo, walking around down-town, and admiring the pose of the ballerina painted on the wall... 

 College friends and fro-yo! The gal in the middle is from Scotland, and it was such a pleasure get to know her and learn more about her country before she headed home.

Over the course of the summer, we have had a few opportunities to spend time at the lake, paddle-boarding, talking, oh, and getting very red tans. 

I could keep going, but this post has gotten extremely lengthy and I believe I could be doing better things with my time...

Hold fast to Jesus!

Sonia

Three Months: Saying Goodbye to My Grandmother

I started writing this four days ago but didn't post it...It is not well-written by any means, and may be disturbing, but it shallowly conveys what is in my heart.

Today marks three months since I watched my beloved grandmother breathe her last. Three months since she said she loved me for the very last time. Three months since one of the longest, yet shortest days of my life. 

I had no idea when I got off work the day before and started heading over to her apartment because she wasn't feeling well that I would be saying goodbye just over 24 hours later. Rushing over to be with her, I knew she wasn't doing well and it could be the beginning of her final days, but it was so sudden. 

I remember walking into her room around 3 p.m. and seeing her on her chair, feeling miserable. When I asked her if I could give her a hug she weakly said, "I'll always take a hug." I gave her a hug and quickly sat on the floor beside her and held her hand. After the CNA walked out to make some calls, I asked Grandma if I could pray for her and she said, "of course," and I prayed for her comfort and peace, and, if the Lord willed, her healing. Ultimately, Grandma and I both knew she was in the Lord's hands and these could be her last days. 

Soon my dad arrived from work, and he and I sat with Grandma, trying to make her more comfortable before the paramedics arrived. We weren't sure if she was having a heart attack or simply feeling ill.

After the paramedics came, my dad and I, driving separate cars, drove to the hospital. It was pouring rain and the traffic was not the best.

Dad and I rushed into the emergency room where one of the paramedics was waiting to lead us back to Grandma. It felt like a scene in a movie: People were buzzing around Grandma, hooking her up to tubes and checking her over, asking us questions about her medical history, age, if she had an advance directive, and who had power of attorney.

My mom and aunt arrived, and the ER staff broke the rules and said that more than two people could be in the room with Grandma at a time, and we all stood around Grandma, speaking words of love, praying, and simply reflecting. Hospital staff were in and out for about an hour, giving Grandma painkillers and asking Mom, my aunt, and Dad questions about treatment options. After several hours of waiting, the hospital had a bed open so Grandma could be moved to a room. 

Family members were updated and on the way. Around 9 p.m. I headed for home so I could be with mini-man (9) who was sick so everyone else could be at the hospital. Mini-man and I watched "The Emperor's New Groove" and went to bed.

The next day was a haze. Mom and Dad stayed the night, I got there around 8:30 the next morning, and my aunt and uncle came by as well. Other family members were there also. Grandma was in an almost comatose state, but managed to tell each of us she loved us. When the Squish came, she said, "I love you, Great-Grandma," to which Grandma mumbled, "I love you too." Those were her very last words. Grandma soon went into a sort of coma.

We all spent the day in the hospital, doing homework, playing games, and spending time together. 

At 5:45 p.m., everyone but Mom, Dad, and I headed home. I was thinking about leaving, but decided to stay a bit longer. At 6:20, the nurse said it wouldn't be long, and we gathered around Grandma, telling her we loved her. And then she was gone. It was almost like I could sense that her spirit had left her body. Grandma wasn't in the room any more. I pray she went to be with Jesus. 

Three months later, memory of those days is still vivid and the pain is still sharp. But we know that the Lord, the perfect Creator of the heavens, the earth, and life itself, is sovereign over every situation. We thank the Lord for the time we had with Grandma and for the blessing she was in our lives.

Hold fast to Jesus!
Sonia